Just Ring the Bell

It was the time of year when the winds blew cold and the bleak night came early to tuck you in.

The leaves blazed in defiant colors of life that were, in fact, their grave clothes, a splendid array of royal colors of fire and berries, with the cool but ugly afterglow of sepia, umber, and ochre.

Melanie and I were bundled against the chill, hunched against the rising wind. She looked at me and said the most bizarre thing I’d ever heard from her.

“Let’s go to that house and ring the bell.”

“What the hell for? It’s getting dark out here, Mel.” I was the only one allowed to call her that; she never told me exactly why.

“We have time,” she argued. “There’s enough light left, and it’s only a couple of blocks off the road.”

Well now I had a dilemma: the prettiest girl in school just dared its lowest life form to do something totally out of the norm.

I wrestled with the thought of not going, and not only pinned it down, I shoved it through the ring floor.

What’s a lower life form to do?

 

*****************

It sat on the top of a gently sloped hill, the path secluded by lush, expansive, mature trees leading to the black wrought iron gate with a lock busted long ago by unseen vandals.

What we were doing here was stupid, to say the least; we had no idea if the place was still being used by squatters or even criminals that were still staying there.

I didn’t want Mel getting hurt, but if anyone was in there that meant us harm, it was likely they’d get away with it. No one would think we’d been dumb enough to come here, and it would take them awhile to find us.

I made a last-ditch effort.

“Hey Mel, it’s not like we could just ring the bell and take off for home. It’s pretty isolated out there.

“That’s what makes it fun.”

“Why can’t we do it on Halloween?”

“No one’s ever come here on Halloween.”

“Really? I’d think this would be a favorite ‘haunt.’ Why not?”

“I don’t know.” She shrugged. “Just never happened.”

The sun dropped, and though it still dappled the leaves the color of the light deepened from dark yellow to amber.

I looked down the road to see the light play on the intricate scroll work of the gate, and it seemed like ethereal fire burning on black coals.

From a low branch, a crow called.

Melanie and I jumped, the suddenness of it in the quiet scaring us; our sheepish grins betrayed us to each other, but disappeared when another answered in front of us, down the path closer to the gate.

We stopped, listening. Animals often gave warnings of danger, but we heard and saw nothing more.

As remote as the area was, there should have been more animal traffic, but it was getting dark.

The amber sunlight turned to persimmon.

“Let’s get this over with,” I said.

We started jogging.

My mind turned back to the crows. Sentinels?

We finally got to the gate, but then there was the driveway. From there we could see the house; dark blue shadows ascending from the bottom would slowly engulf it.

Melanie pushed the gate open without resistance. It squealed on its hinges, but that was to be expected. It sounded like a plaintive child whining for attention.

“Run, Mel.”

We ran.

“Remember,” she huffed, “just ring the bell.”

“Right.”

The house loomed close, from being in sight to being within reach.

I leapt the stairs onto the front porch while Mel watched from the bottom.

I pressed the bell, not even sure it was still working after all this time.

It rang. The sound was melodious, beautiful, and in the emptiness within I could hear its resonating echo.

“Awesome,” she said.

I turned to jump down the stairs, and found I couldn’t move.

“What-?”

“Come on.”

“I can’t.

“What?”

“I can’t move! Mel, I can’t move. Help me…” The rising panic in me threatened to overwhelm my thinking.

She started to move toward me, but found she couldn’t move either.

“Oh no…”

“Mel?”

“I’m stuck! Goddammit!” She looked up at the windows and screamed. “Let us go! Let us fucking go! Now!”

The door lock clicked, and the door swung open on silent hinges, in contrast to the squeaking gate.

The persimmon sunlight deepened to red.

An old woman with skin the color and texture of ancient, delicate parchment stood looking at us, her sunken eyes glittering dark, the red light like a small ember reflected in the tiny pupils.

Melanie stopped shouting, and only gaped as the woman’s eyes took her in.

An old man of equal antiquity, dressed in a black moth-eaten suit, came shuffling toward us holding a candle in a silver holder.

“Who is it, love?” His voice was a file on metal, but with timbre.

The seams and pockets on the lady’s face stretched horizontally, and I realized she was trying to smile.

Without turning her head, she answered him. “The new Caretakers.”

Her breath reeked of the grave, and I dry-retched.

The man filled the doorway, and the air went rank. “Come in, children.”

He looked down at Mel. “Come in.”

“All we wanted to do was ring the bell,” she said, her voice quavering as she started to cry.

I knew now why no one ventured here on Halloween.

The dull red sunlight turned black.

And it was night.

Slaughtering Sands

Across these golden, fiery sands,

singing wind with sculpting hands

scoops and furrows, digs and funnels

over bones and ancient tunnels.

 

In the evening heat I walk

while the desert vultures stalk

every step with raucous call,

waiting for my form to fall.

Mortal scythes in timeless clime

hop and flap and bide their time.

 

Mirages in the distance sway

‘Rest, and rot,’ they seem to say.

‘Sand is soft and warm and dry.

Rest  your burdens, rest and die.

Never will they find you here.

Those who search will disappear.’

 

‘Traveler, why are you here?

To bury love? To uproot fear?

Why walk into the burning sun

alone, afraid, the only one?’

 

‘Have you a reason? Mission? Goal?

Perhaps a precious gem you stole?’

 

As the evening came about,

I would never make it out.

Laying down to die, I write

letters to describe my plight.

 

Now my final grasp rescinds,

sending them by desert winds.

If someone should find me here,

should my words e’er reach an ear,

mark them down, and mark them well:

Deserts are an earthly hell.

 

In these sun-scoured, blighted lands,

challenge not the slaughtering sands.

Shadow Love

I see it standing there

at the

bottom

of my life

like a

snarling wolf

at the

base of a ladder

 

This amorphous shadow,

Shifting, shining stars

contained in

incorporeal limbs.

 

I remember when

they reached for me

and held me close,

One hand on my eyes,

the other on my throat

so I would not see it

was killing me,

as it sang

death’s lullaby

so sweetly

in my ear

so I couldn’t feel

my life ebbing.

 

But I grew too heavy

with sorrow

to carry,

and it set me down.

 

Gorged on my misery,

it could not pursue.

And when I returned

to the sunlight

it fled.

 

I remember it,

not fondly.

And these days,

not long.

 

But I can still

feel its eyes

boring into me,

And it waits,

black and coiled

round the cold scraps

of what it once prized.

 

Wanting me back

even as it moves on

to claim

new souls

to suck.

Fare Well

Farewell,

my love.

It seems I knew you not.

The sound of the closing door

was a whispered sob

that only served to

amplify the tearing of

separation.

 

Farewell,

my love.

It seems we both forgot.

The days of laughter and love,

at once torrid and tender.

Our words of fealty

and the promises in stone

eroding with time

and the day to day

decay of fantasy.

 

Farewell,

my love.

We gave it our best shot.

The letdown felt like chains

and the arguments were

thorns in the side

that never healed,

and mortal grace

was insufficient.

 

Farewell, my love.

We didn’t love a lot.

Our curses even now ring like

minor key bells

in my memory.

 

Farewell, my love.

In beauty there is rot.

And in the sun’s persimmon rays

we say farewell to better days

in the land of loving thought.

 

Fare well, my love.

 

Clear as Dark Glass

In the window

at dawn

you used the light

to wink at me.

I came to the window

to admire you

and assess what it would mean

to possess you.

And now inside,

I hold you,

and see that you are etched

with life’s hieroglyphs.

They are a riddle,

and you are a puzzle.

‘I know you,’ I say,

holding your dusky essence,

turning you in my hands.

I hold you up to the light

and look through dark glass,

seeing clearly where I would come to rest

in tortured love sublime.

The Infinite Aftermath

Standing here with you

we watch the past fade

like the ocean

on the stern of a ship.

The ripples we created

long smoothed over

to glassy stillness,

and whether blood.

sweat, or tears

bob in its wake,

they have all been sipped

or burned away.

 

What carrion of enmity

remains

has long been picked clean.

What remains of affection

sways in the darkness,

lifeless in the cold current.

And together

we slip apart

into the

infinite aftermath

of

used to be,

and

might have been.

What Can I Give You?

What can I give you?

“A strong, solid love,

imperfectly pure

as it flows

from above.”

What can I give you?

“A still, patient soul,

devoted emotions,

attention that’s whole.”

What can I give you?

“A smile and a hug,

and tea sweet with honey

when I have a bug.”

“What can I give you?”

Your honesty, trust,

the key to your heart.

I will not let it rust.

“What can I give you?”

Your best, and your hand.

And be there at times that

you won’t understand.

“What can I give you?”

The path where we walk

together

in silence that doesn’t need talk.

What can I give you?

To be as before.

Just stand here beside me.

We need nothing more.

 

 

Words of Love, Unspoken

Words of love, unspoken, are heard as screams.

Words of love, unspoken, are as violent as any fist.

Words of love, unspoken, bring shadows of despair.

Words of love, unspoken, are hungry, cold children crying in the dark.

Words of love, unspoken, are midnight torches quenched in rain.

Words of love, unspoken, are songbirds with broken wings.

Words of love, unspoken, are hands letting go.

Words of love, unspoken, die

and take

love

with them.

Why Do You Love Me?

“Why do you love me?”

Why should I not?

“How much do you love me?”

I love you a lot.

“What is it you love, then?”

Your smile and your eyes,

your musical laughter,

your soft, tender sighs.

Your hair in the moonlight,

Your eyes when they shine

with tears of rejoicing

when I say you’re mine.

Your lips when they kiss me,

your hands when they touch,

your arms when they hold me

too long and too much.

Now tell me you love me.

“You know that I do.”

I want you to say it.

“Yes, I love you too.”

How much do you love me?

“As wide as the sky,

as deep as the ocean,

as loud as a cry,

as hot as the desert,

as pure as the snow.

My darling, I love you.

You know that.

You know.”

 

 

 

Desert Thorns

The evening air dried the day’s sweat on their skin, pushing it past the surface and into their bones. The slavers didn’t care if they succumbed. Only the strongest were fit to serve; the rest they left to the scouring sand.

Finding themselves too thinly dressed for the cooling weather, two young women hugged themselves for modesty and warmth.

The cleric’s cruel eyes noticed, gleaming in lustful anticipation.

They noticed him too.

Hakina, the bolder of the two, dared to narrow her eyes in haughty defiance.

With a sneer disguised as a smile, the cleric sauntered his way over to where they sat in their own filth, chained to each other and a heavy steel pole, his nose wrinkling at the stench.

He turned to the bent-back whose duty it was to shadow him and obey his every command, no matter how abusive, disgusting, or self-abasing.

“Clean this one and bring her to my tent at the edge of the camp.”

“Nameless hears and obeys, Cleric Hameen.”

“Nameless pleases. Now go.”

The bent-back shuffled off as his master turned his attention back on Hakina.

She wanted to keep quiet but her hatred wouldn’t allow it.

“One such as you seeks to break me?”

He slapped her down, kicked some foul sand toward her eyes.

“Little bitch, I will shatter you before this night is done.”

“You call me ‘bitch,’ but it’s you who shall howl, pretender!” Her eyes burned and stung as she wiped at them, trying to gain her footing .

He punched her, slamming her down again.

Her mouth was bleeding.

He pulled her hair to tilt her head, wiped her lips hard with a rough hand, smearing the blood on her cheeks as she sought to dislodge herself.

For her defiance, he pressed her cheeks in hard on both sides until she drooled and cried out from the pain. Her hands came up to throttle him, but the clinking of the chain checked her.

The movement and its intent wasn’t lost on him, and he sneered again.

“We shall see.” His quiet voice belied the storm in his eyes as he shoved her away and walked off, leaving her gasping for air and rubbing her jaw.

Her fellow captive went to help her up, but Hakina slapped her hand away.

“Do you seek to have us die before sunrise?” Isani asked.

“I seek to have us free by moonrise, if you’ll help me. The fate of women is ever the same in these places.”

Hakina gained her feet without assistance, looking up at the evening sky as she wiped the tears the cleric forced out of her with the back of her dirty sleeve.

As for Isani, this was the third time she was captured, and she vowed it would be the last. They’d taken her mother and sister too, slaughtering her father as he knelt, crying and pleading for the lives of his family at the expense of his own.

They granted his wish and took their time enjoying it, but set no one free.

She’d managed to escape through playing the ‘broken woman,’ and endured their sick games as they used her. When they were confident she understood her place, she quietly killed them. Blades, poison, acid on their groins after they were gagged. Whatever lay nearby.

The camp guards never questioned her when she left the camps crying, her face puffy and her clothing torn. They sneered, making their own lewd remarks and rubbing themselves as she passed, offering their own crude versions of comforting her.

By the time they discovered their dead, she was long gone.

She sighed, looking after the retreating form of the impious, impure cleric.

“Done, if you manage to include me in the tryst.”

Hakina looked her over, a mirthless smile on her lips.

“I think I can manage that.”